Flying the friendly skies with a Tasmanian devil on your lap

The airlines make the announcement to let parents with small children board first. Ignore them! Board last. Children don't like to sit for any length of time, and boarding first only extends the time they are stuck in the seats. By boarding last you can let your child move about freely as long as possible and will have a smaller chance of them becoming upset when it is time to fasten them into the seat.

I completely agree with all advice. I carry a portable dvd player and suckers everywhere I go just in case. I dont' allow those things at home so they, I have 3 under 4 years old, get to watch movies for however long they are so excited.

Melodie from Michigan

I've traveled on business with my 3 boys for 20 years.  They've racked up more than 200,000 miles between them.  The youngest is 10 now.  I found that the best ideas are:  Gift wrap dollar store toys and allow the child to open them 1 every 45 minutes (or 30 minutes if you have a relatively short flight).  Do not even bother taking a book or magazine to read - plan to be your child's entertainment.  This is not a time for "me time". Traveling kids are excited, tired and totally off schedule.  Don't forget to visit the dollar store before you head back home.  You'll need a new arsenal then.

Gift wrap all the new, never seen books, toys and treats before hiding them in carry-ons. It adds some suspense and excitment to the moment. Traveling cross country when my daughter was 4, one of the "presents" was a bead-stringing kit. We made necklaces and bracelets for her aunt and cousins we were going to visit. Dot-to-dot books are great, sticker books are wonderful, but the best preventative is preparation. If your junior companion is old enough to understand, discuss your expectations of behavior during the trip, reinforce the ideas of courtesy and respect of others, and be consistent w/ reinforcing expectations.

Now a grandmother, I have offered to help frazzled parents on flights. Almost always they are grateful for any assistance they can get. I have watched Thomas DVD's, bottle fed an infant while mother tended to a toddler, and have played Peek-a-Boo over a seat back.

The lollipop is my ultimate weapon - nothing ends a tantrum faster. It's like putting a cork in a bottle.

When my daughter was young I packed her a backpack that she could carry with crayons, dolls and things she likes to play with. Also make sure you have some gum for him to chew for take offs and landings.

If he starts to act up, whop his butt! All these psychologist making money off these books when alot of times all kids need is a good spanking. Spanking is not violence its discipline and very effective if used properly. My daughter knew she would get a spanking if she acted up and I never had any problems from her, people always was amazed at how good she was. However, I always kept snacks and things for her to play with so she wouldn't be totally constricted.

All good ideas (except the spanking comment--sorry, but I don't agree with doing that, especially in public).  Empathy is a good soother, and oftentimes with my three kids at the toddler & preschool stages, they sense your mood.  If you're uptight and worried about them acting up, then they'll sense you're uptight & it will affect their moods. 

We always talked up the trip like it was this huge adventure, bought toys together ahead of time that they knew was for the plane ride (and not before!).  We brought special teddy bears & their favorite blankies.  They were excited, we acted very excited.  On the plane, I'd say, "I can't wait to get out our first special toy.  Should we do it now or after we take off?"  I gave them lots of choices all the time, so they felt in control of some part of their little lives.  Do you want to sit in this seat, or the one I'm in?  Drink A or drink B?  Surprise treat 1 or 2 (both in bags you can't see in)?  Should we color the dog or the cat?  Lots of choices, and do everything together.

If they're old enough, laptops (in addition to DVDs) allow you to let even preschoolers play CD-ROM games (like Jumpstart Kindergarten or Jumpstart Preschool).  Take an extra fully charged laptop battery (along with a regular charger) and a pair of headphones & they'll be set in case there's a long layover.

After the drink cart goes by, a walk to the back of the plane to visit the flight attendants is always fun, pointing out what different things are for.  Some flight attendants will take time to say "hi", some may not have time, but the 10-15 minute diversion is priceless & burns some energy.

All the ideas are great, and I've used many of them, albeit more from a motivation of keeping my child engaged, entertained, and excited about a trip (just as I like my iPod, movie, magazine, or neighborly chat to do for me).

But start addressing the underlying behavioral dynamics that lead to a tantrum before a flight. Train a child to hear and respect your "no". Set and consistently enforce boundaries. Discuss acceptable behavior several times before a flight using the right construct for a child - for example, a friendly, "How would you think people should act?" discussion. Discuss consequences of unacceptable behavior. My kids knew that if they were outside of the boundaries, they would first get a friendly verbal reminder of the boundaries, and if they didn't reign it in, a pinch on the arm.  (Thank God they responded to that...not sure what I would have done if the pinch didn't work.)

As my then two-year-old once asked on a 10-hour international flight where two young kids were repeatedly throwing tantrums and running down the aisles, parents in pursuit trying to appease them, "Daddy, why do the parents let their kids act that way?"

A few years ago we planned a 12 hour road trip with a 4-year-old and a 5-year-old. We did the dollar store thing ahead of time and wrapped the new toys. At each rest stop they got a "present" and were absolutely delighted! It was so successful that we ended up bringing 1/2 of the stuff back unopened (stocking stuffers). The most popular item was pipe cleaners! They made so many objects d'art with one package each of colorful pipe cleaners. Also, we took coloring/activity books but made sure we packed colored pencils instead of crayons! Didn't want to have to explain the tie-dyed pattern on the back seat of the rental car!

Children's Benadryl 30-45 minutes before boarding a plane should help your sanity and the other people in the plane's sanity also.

Leave them at home until they can act accordingly!

I would like to post this again because I think the author of the article did a HUGE diservice to their readers when suggesting something that is poisonous and potentially fatal, and in direct contradiction to the information Pediatricians are trying to get out...

Parrents...BENADRYL CAN KILL YOUR TODDLER! IT IS NOT MEANT FOR KIDS UNDER 12 (even tho the bottle will say diffrent)

CHILDREN DIE EVERY YEAR BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS OR CARETAKER ACCIDENTALLY POISONED THEM IN A EFFORT TO KEEP THEM QUIET!(with correct bottle dosage)

HUNDREDS ARE BROUGHT INTO EMERGENCY ROOMS EVERY YEAR BECAUSE OF THIS. SOME DIE.

Is YOUR child's life worth the gamble? Because I know my child's life is worth more to me than the possibility of MAYBE having a fit and disturbing someone else. I honestly can't imagine how any parent who cares at all about their child, could actually drug them. Sounds like Casey Anthony tried to to the same to Caylee. Drugged her to keep her quiet, and the little girl died. Its the same thing people.

Familiarity reduces fear. Planes are loud and cramped. But a sense of adventure can be built if you take your little one to see the planes before the day of your trip!

I used to live in an area where planes were frequently overhead depending upon the wind direction of the day. My 2 year old daughter and I would wave at the planes and make up stories about where the people were going and who they were going to see or what they were going to do. We'd wave at the planes. We'd even talk about the different kinds of planes: the private jets of the rich, the LOUD jets of the military, the big planes headed to big cities, etc.

A couple of days before our flight from Arkansas to Seattle, WA, we went to the airport. They have an open concourse area with a small history museum of flight and military activity in the area. We also sat in the car for a bit and watched as a plane flew close overhead for landing.

As a result, my 2 year old was excited the day of our trip. She was looking forward to where we were going, but more than that, she was excited to fly.

While landings were a bit tough on the way home, and my 2 year old had a very hard time staying seated for the long flights, I believe making her familiar with the noises and building a sense of adventure made a big difference.

gH

Spank the spoiled brat! Sternly look the child in the face and ask if they need another spanking in order to behave. Sure, a parent should try and pacify the child in a non-violent way but there comes a time when spankings are necessary.

With our toddlers in tow, my wife never failed to bring along a dispenser of Scotch tape.  A child under two can spend a long time totally absorbed in removing a patch of tape from his/her hand.  Next patch, please! 

(Attaching such tape also can be a great aid in getting good candid photos of a child.)

My son and his partner left for the airport early, it's a 2 1/2 hours drive, and stopped at a playground for about 30 minutes of run and play time about 1/2 hour away from the airport. They say giving their toddler a break from a long day of being buckled into a car seat makes all the difference.

If you can keep your child from acting up by giving them something to do, then fine. Sometimes that doesn't work and trying to reason with a toddler often doesn't work either. I always found the threat of pain to be quite effective. I would just lean over and say "if you keep this up, then I'm going to spank your butt in front of all these people and give you something to really yell about." I meant it. Because he knew I meant it, I rarely had to prove it. I could take him anywhere, even all day seminars. I have always been told that he was one of the best behaved children in class and, trust me, that behavior didn't come naturally.  My son is now 24, in law school, we talk often, and our relationship couldn't be better.

The noise cancelling headphones are a must.

I was on a flight from Oklahoma City to Phoenix years ago and the passengers all applauded when we touched down. I asked the person next to me, why the clapping. He said a child had screamed during the entire 2 plus hours flight. I didn't hear a thing as I was weraing the noise cancellers!

Make sure you can quell a tantrum in every day situations before taking them on an airplane. Confined places are not the only place little ones throw a tantrum!

As a travel and hospitality industry professional I've been on over twenty flights with my now 6 year-old son. Most of the ideas here are great, especially the portable DVD or iPod Touch/iPhone. However one of the most over looked thing one can do is provide more space. Some airlines have premium economy seating that provide more space for a small fee. If your ailline offers it buy it! It is worth every penny. If you are travelling with an infant (under 2 as defined by the airlines) and can afford it, buy a seat for the infant do not carry them on your lap unless it is a very short flight (lees than one hour) the extra space and privacy, especially if you are a breastfeeding mom, is a blessing. If you have a lot of miles from business travel use them to upgrade to First or Business Class. You and your child have just as much right to those seats as anyone else. The number of people who sit in first or business class on a domestic flight that have actually paid a first/business calss fare are a minority. Most have upgraded from economy either by using miles or because of their elite status with the airline. However if you go the upgrade route dress as if you belong there, no sweats, tee-shirts or ragged jeans instead wear what you would wear for a business casual day or a nice pair of jeans and top. If you are travelling with a spouse or other adult have them board fitst and stow all the carryons then at the final boarding call board with your child(ren).

The most important thing as a parent you can do is BE PREPARED.

After reading this article and most of the comments, I am exhausted. It seems like parents are working way too hard to bring kids on trips or even out in public. I am sure these ideas all work in the moment and can bring momentary peace and quiet and can help to avoid a potentially messy situation. But, if we are going to spend so much time preparing to entertain our kids, I wonder what would happen if we spent as much time and energy training our kids? When my kids were young, I found a program- Parenting On Track created by Vicki Hoefle www.parentingontrack.com and it teaches you how to use every day trips in the car or mealtimes as opportunities to train children on what they can expect (and how they are expected to behave) in the outside world. Now mind you it is not as easy as letting them play with my phone or buying them an ipod, however after using this program my children know how to entertain themselves, sit still, use manners, make difficult choices, deal with disappointment without pitching a fit, pack their bags and be responsible for their stuff and do not think that it is my job to entertain them and keep them busy and happy. These skill sets travel far beyond the walls of the airplane.