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Meredith Vieira: Resist mom pressure

News Type: Event — Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:05 PM EST

Live Poll

Are we overscheduling our children?

Yes
93%
No
7%

Total Votes: 41

blogposts

TODAYMoms

In Tuesday’s Metro, TODAY’s Meredith Vieira explained how she handles mom peer pressure, specifically keeping up with all the activities and jam-packed schedules parents keep for their kids. She describes today’s mounting parental pressure leading to “over-programmed” children.

“On one level I would say how ridiculous, with all this overscheduling, but deep down inside I would feel like am I inadequate, as a parent, not exposing my kids to all those great things out there? Am I cheating them? Will I be perceived as the bad parent?”

Meredith goes on to say that children experience enough day-to-day stress, so why program the little down time they actually have? That maybe, it has more to do with mom peer pressure then the children’s actual needs:

“There are a lot of Type A personalities out there. You want your kids to have a leg up. It’s a competitive world.”

What do you think? Are we unnecessarily stressing out our children – and ourselves? And how do you keep yourself immune to competitive moms?

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Public Discussion (2)

{"commentId":10727545,"authorDomain":"beth-29"}

beth-1473898

Sometimes a child isn't overscheduled but rather the family is. My three children (7, 8, and 10) are active in sports, but it's not their individual schedules that are taxing; it's the combination of all three that cause our family schedule to feel overly hectic sometimes. And I really feel sorry for younger siblings in large families, because they are out every night and all weekend watching older siblings perform/play/practice, waiting for older siblings to be done with an activity, or riding from place to place in their car seats.

Regardless of our children's activities, my husband and I do our best to get them to bed between 7 and 8 p.m. So even if they're "busy" they're still rested and don't get run down. And we limit activities to one per season per child, which helps them learn to prioritize and not get burned out.

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#1 - Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:42 PM EST

{"commentId":10982236,"authorDomain":"ChrisCarr"}

Christine Carr

Resist the mom pressure, indeed! Rather, I feel it is high time that women were celebrated! According to a 2007 survey conducted by The American Psychological Association, moms between the ages of 35 - 40 feel more stress than any other age group as they balance child and parental care. I'm all for raising the bar, but how high is too high?

As maddening as motherhood can be, though, I do believe that we need to look for that break in the clouds, seek the lighter side of laughter as often as possible, and not take parenting so seriously. We can't possibly solve every problem for our children, nor do we want to. It is, after all, a fact that we humans often learn our best lessons through our biggest mistakes -- trial and error.

My new book, Mother Daze... tales from the imperfect playground (Nov. 2) is a truthful account of modern motherhood, a virtual high five offered to the women of the world, written by a girl who thought she had life well under control until kids came along… surprise! It’s been said that motherhood should unlock a universal understanding: same team, same goal… happy, healthy child, but what about the happy, healthy mommy? Where is she in the mix? This heartfelt story, told through entertaining anecdotes from my own adventures as a 37 year old mother of three young children, coupled with my sixteen years of teaching experience as a Physical Education teacher at a public elementary school, provides smiles and sunshine for the many women of the world who honestly question, “What happened to my life?” As a teacher, I witness the beautiful magic of childhood innocence and the integral need for resilience. It is critical that kids have a chance to rumble, tumble, and figure life out --- bumps and bangs included.

Christine Carr, author of Mother Daze... tales from the imperfect playground

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#2 - Tue Dec 1, 2009 9:45 PM EST

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