Mommy blogger and burn victim Stephanie Nielson to speak on TODAY

And, they received over $350,000, the last time someone accounted for it (which has been quite a while).

Is there more to your point?

Why? Is it bothering you that you cannot control the content of my comments? OH-wait-maybe you have trouble with comprehension. Sorry, I don't tutor.

I agree with Kristen! All those those questions are the same questions I have & wonder about. With all of us who follow her & her recovery, I think were all wondering, Did she expect to be so huge, & what did she think once she realized how many millions of people from all over the world were sending their prayers & love to her & her husband? How overwhelmed did she feel?

I completely agree. I have read her blog since her family was on the Today Show over a year ago explaining the crash. I have been hooked ever since. But I wanna know more. Kristin and Kelli you are EXACTLY right.

What does she do with all of her fan mail/gifts? Does she ever plan on writing a book? What were her first thoughts when she woke up a year ago? Having only read her words, does her voice sound the same?

Thank you for being such an inspiration to all of us. You make me be a better mom everyday!!

God Belss!!!

I have to agree with you, MAH3. She makes me a better mom every time I read. And every time I'm having a really down day, if I go to her blog and she's got a new post up, my day is brightened.

The reason for ever giving a gift is because it came from the heart. This family suffered a huge tragedy. They of all people deserve to be happy and buy new things and still recieve gifts. She has really been a ministry to so many people. If you are questioning your gift that you gave, maybe it was never really from the heart??

I doubt she uses those funds to purchase her furniture, and my goodness- do you think her every purchase should be scrutinized? I think it's hardly fair to judge how and where she spends her money with all of the medical bills she has. Not only with previous bills but continuing care. I would like to think people donated to give a little piece of cheer- even if it's a glittery card.

I can understand your frustrations, however I would just like to say that Nie and Christian along with their children still deserve to live. If this hadn't happened to them, they wouldn't need the generosity of others, they would still be living the life they so loved in Arizona. A piece of new furniture is a small price compaired to what they suffer daily. Their medical bills will NEVER go away, and they will ALWAYS need help. It is your choice whether or not you want to help them, but personally... I am happy to see them continue to live life as normal as possible. If Nie feels she needs a new piece of furniture, who are we to judge. I don't know the family personally and I don't know the pain that the two have to endure EVERY DAY! If buying something nice once in awhile makes them feel better, then by god DO IT! They deserve it!

Shame on you! No one ever knows ALL the facts. What awful judgements you have made. Whenever you donate money to a cause it is simply that, a donation. Stephanie has always enjoyed decorating her home and crafts with her children, these are probably some of the things that at times keep her going. When you give someone money, there shouldn't ever be strings attached or it is not of pure gratitude. You have no idea of their incomings and outgoings nor do I, but your comments are somewhat sickening. As far as a showing of gratitude, you may want to re-read some of her posts!

Wow! I am appalled at this post. So if there is a tragedy you must stop everything and not enjoy life? She is a do it yourself girl and is so creative and her sense of happiness stems from making her home beautiful to live in. If we must judge people after donating money our heart is not in the right spot. I am proud of her for continuing to seek joy in the things she used to and not just laying in bed in a depression and writing please pity me posts. This is what is such an inspiration to us all. Once again..... WOW!

Dear Anon-1487563,

I feel like I need to defend Stephanie, although I don't know her, against the uncomfortable feelings of those who may question her gratitude for the support received and wisdom in using her resources. A somewhat new reader of her blog, I sense nothing but gratitude for her life and the support of her readers.

While nothing at all like Stephanie and Christian's, I experienced a time when medical bills were seemingly insurmountable. There comes a time, which I am glad has arrived for them, when you simply understand that life must go on and things must be bought and you can't dump every penny into bills or you will drain away the small pleasures of life. In their case, if insurance paid only $1M and bills were over $2M, and fundraising was in the neighborhood of $100K, we can safely assume they must have around $900K left to pay.

If the "antique boutique" sofa was something that will ease their situation, whether physically or even just emotionally, I am glad they considered it. Given Stephanie's optimistic outlook and creativity, I wouldn't be surprised if these were very inexpensive second-hand items which she can use to transform her home into a place where her body and spirit can heal; why should we begrudge?

Explanations may soothe your concerns, but perhaps an email to Stephanie directly would provide the understanding you seek instead of this forum?

What a terrible thing to say. Shame on you. Put yourself in their shoes and I think your perspective would change. If buying a new couch makes her feel better--than all the power to her. No one knows what kind of pain-both physical and emotional pain-they are going through. I too donated to their fund and I don't think it is right for anyone to judge them if they feel like buying a new couch or a couple of new throw pillows. She is a lovely person and I admire her so much.

i find it really ironic that the follow-up comments to this person's concerns all blast anonymous for being "judgemental." wow. it's not that i agree with anonymous's point of view, i understand that once you give a gift to a person, it's theirs to do with what they want, don't get me wrong, but come on people...you seem to expect anonymous to either be fine with the feelings they are experiencing or to not voice an opinion that contradicts your own, so who's being judgemental now? i believe the nielson's have the right to do whatever they want to with the gifts they receive, but i also believe that anonymous has an equal right to say how he/she feels. why is it okay to offend someone else's opinion in an effort to make another feel less offended? i don't get it. i do hope that the nielson's are comforted, they seem like lovely people, but i also hope that anonymous realizes that what he/she sacrificed to lend financial support was greatly appreciated, whether it payed for medical bills or furniture...it helped to provide comfort for such a special family.

I have to add that I have wondered the same thing. I gave money when my husband was unemployed. And I have had many moments like that - especially since CJane started blogging "dear Cjane" and some of the prices of the things they enjoy are made clear. And by they I mean the whole family - its a shame on me moment, because if I thought I'd have these feelings I should have never donated. But people who can spend over 90 dollars on shoes regularly, and buy new furniture when still in the midst of a tragedy - don't need my money.

Off that topic though I do consider NieNie a huge inspiration and she will forever have my respect, just not any more of my money. Except what she gets by my reading of her blog which is often.

UGH, you make me sick. Giving with a cost (even expecting a certain conduct) isn't giving. If you have hundreds of dollars to give, then you are in the top .5 percentile of the world. What on EARTH do you have to complain about?!? Oh WAIT! I KNOW! That someone isn't bending over backwards to thank you for the 'gift' you gave and thus living in squalor until you are satisfied. And btw, how do you know that YOUR money you donated didn't go towards the medical bills as you specified? Perhaps they put that specific amount to medical bills and then someone else's donation to just 'help' with no contingancies was used to purchase needed furniture and living accommodations. Do you in fact KNOW that your SPECIFIC money was mis-spent???

Get over yourself! You are being ridiculous. Don't even give to people, because you will never be satisfied with the return on your investment. Just go buy yourself something and lay in it and think of how all the poor, unfortunate people can't afford the things you have. Then curl up and be bitter by yourself.

You are pathetic.

I can see both sides of this. I just want to add that there was a post that NieNie wrote wherein she asked that the donations stop and are given to others in need rather than herself. As far as Cjane's shoes go, that is Cjanes money not Nie's. Personally, money is tight for us. We recently had a baby and we ourselves have a few medical bills. They don't in anyway compare to Nie's but sometimes the stress is lessened a little by going out and getting something nice. I know it doesn't make sense but somehow it gives a little hope to what seems so dreary. I am glad that I donated to Nie. I think she needed to feel the love and if that is how I could best send it, so be it. She really is a sweetheart.

I was kind of wondering the same thing. The new furniture and all the trips they seem to be taking lately. Granted I do follow her blog and was wondering where all this money is coming from. Maybe they get paid quite a bit for appearing on all these television shows. But hopefully that has gone to pay off the $1M left from their hospital bills and not jet setting across the country.

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2009/10/thanks-guys.html

I don't have time to read all the comments, so I'm not sure if this has been said yet...

So maybe they don't have "enough" money to be spending it on things like new furniture. Did you ever think that maybe they like to splurge every now and then to make themselves feel like everything is "normal"?

Coming from someone who's father lost his job in January and has only recently found work again, I have to say my mom tries as best she can to still keep things "normal" so that we don't get too stressed. We even went on a trip to St. Thomas over the summer. Sometimes you just have to do things to survive.

Until you know all the details, and until you've been in the situation, don't judge. It makes me sad to think a supporter of Nie could be so cruel.

Hi everyone

I am hesitant to post anything seeing as how posters have ripped "Anon-1487563" to shreds. But I will have to say I agree with Anon.

I also gave money, and I am NOT against people spending money to give themselves a little "pick-me-up" but honestly, people gave money with the expectation that the funds would be used to cover bills and living expenses. Perhaps it's shame on us for assuming that the money would be used for living costs or medical bills, but I feel that the Nielson's have really taken advantage of the generosity of good hearted people who wanted to help them. It seems that at least once a week Nie is blogging about a recent purchase, and while I feel horrible about what she has suffered physically, that is no excuse for fiscal irresponsibility, especially when the funds are coming from DONATIONS for medical expenses and bills. It is clear that neither her nor Christian is working, and I don't expect them to be, but to keep accepting donations when it is obvious that they are buying "extras" is deplorable.

Their new found fame seems to suit them, with all the travelling and purchases, but I think it is important for them to remember that everyone gets their fifteen minutes , but once the donations stop coming, they will realize that they should have been a little bit more discerning with the funds provided by generous donations.

"Shame on you!"

Come on, people. Her feelings are totally valid. We are all Humans, and it is completely normal to question the need when you see the family is able to buy frivolities ($200 hair flowers). It's amazing that she gave money to begin with. That was generosity! Only God the Father is pure love, with no regret or misunderstanding.

Of course they have medical bills, and yes, probably forever, but that doesn't make anon's questions any less valid.

azmom101,

I completely agree with you. There are valid reasons why people are questioning. These questions have been asked in comments and in direct emails. Courtney "cjane", for one, deletes any questions that she does not like--and not only on her own blog.

The shopping and traveling is flagrant, and I am surprised that more people are not admitting to questioning it.

Hi -

I am just amazed at all of these assumptions that are being made.Why do you assume your money went to buy luxuries and not necessities?

1. When donations are made to the NieNie fund, that money goes to pay their medical bills not new furniture. It's a separate account and not their bank account.

2. The traveling that they have been doing has been payed for by Oprah, and the TODAY show - at least the flight and hotel. CJane even wrote in her blog that the TODAY show invited Stephanie's entire family to NY. Who would pass that up?

3. If you notice the ad space that is on Stephanie's blog and who is advertising: Target, Lego, Orowheat bread - that is not free advertising. They pay her money to be there, hence the money she got to buy her new furniture.

So what is everyone complaining about again?

Hey Anon,

I'm sure NieNie will refund your "charitable" contribution. Then you can feel all better. And you won't have to be so judgmental. Win-win situation, right?

Hey Anon,

I'll give you hundreds of dollars to shut up?

Maybe I donated furniture to them and heaven knows I didn't have extra furniture lying around.

Wait wait I know!!! Let's give them gifts and donations and then tell them what to do with it!!! I'll be the Captain of Discipline and if they falter under our unbiased assumptions of how our gifts and dollars are being spent, we can CHARGE INTEREST and with all that money pay off our debts to China! HAHA! It's perfect! And we can be called the "Society of Taking the Ungrateful Peoples Parcels I Donated"!!!!!

Anon I vote for you to be the President of S.T.U.P.P.I.D.!

NieNie you get better! You're in good hands.... ours, not Anon's.....

I totally understand both sides of this and I think it's important to note what Melissa said--donations went to a separate account that went directly to bills. Nie and cjane both suggested the donations stop a long time ago, and both have been very gracious about receiving them.

As a loooong time reader (since 2006), I also have noticed that the Nielsons & Clarks are not destitute. They enjoy a standard of living well above the average. But I have no doubts that Steph and Christian have used all the money that has come their way--whether thru donations, family support, or earned income--with integrity and gratitude. You may feel uncomfortable because you donated, assuming they WOULD BE destitute without donations. Rest assured, they will be paying medical bills forever and every donation has helped, but they each have huge, supportive families who would never leave them destitute.

The top of CJane's blog says "We write to taste life twice, once in the moment and in retrospection." Do any of you think that NieNie and her family want to read these comments. If any of you had been in a tragedy, these words - your words- would haunt you.

Dear Anon.

You should never donate money to anyone again. If for some reason you do decide to... why dont you ask for a receipt and a complete list of what your donation was used for.

You really make me sick... along with everyone else that has forgotten what GIVING is all about.

i just pray they will NEVER have to read many comments written here.

good thing there are so many wonderful people around to make up for all of those filled with such animosity and guile that pollute cyberspace.

Really? What's wrong with you? You don't do things for people to expect something in return. No one forced you to donate. The fact that you did is great but now you think it gives you the right to dictate where THEIR money goes! How dare you? This woman was burnt 80% of her body and is permanently disfigured and so was her husband. Do you realize the amount of pain she is in everyday? Or the fact she has difficulty parenting her children? No you don't because you are too worried about dictated how they spend THEIR money. Who cares if she buys furniture. It's none of your business what this woman does. You should be happy she has a life and her children a mother. If her sore disfigured body wants to plop down on some new furniture don't you think she deserves it? You should be ashamed of yourself. I don't know this woman personally and wished I did. Why don't you keep your nasty opinions to yourself. Stephanie or her family do not need that type of negativity. Good day to you!

I am writing from Spain. What in my opinion is not normal at all, is that in the US people have to pay their medical bills by ruining their home economy, and even worse that private medical insurances don't pay for the full cost of medical treatment. All that is out of my understanding. That's the key point of this. If in the US there was a social security as there is in Spain, no private donations would be needed, no struggling to pay medical bills would be needed. The National Social Security system would take charge of all medical treatments necessary to cover people's needs. On the one hand, I don't like it when I have to pay from my salary to the social security, but on the other hand I have the peace of mind to know that no matter what happends to me or my family, we will get the best of medical services for free. You US people should think about it.

Thank you, mar for pointing this conversation in a direction that really matters...

You're right mar, we are in the midst of a giant struggle here in the US to come to terms with these issues. It seems that no matter how much difficulty and struggling there is medically for people, we are too afraid and callous to change our system.

Nienie is unusual in that she had a media outlet which allowed her to receive donations. Most people in her situation do not and will be financially ruined by this type of catastrophic medical event. It is terribly frustrating and undignified.

I am really curious about Nienie's (and her donors) opinion on this subject...

I don't see it as being judgmental, rather questioning the validity of the donation. I'm sure it was heartfelt at the time, but now, with the purchases and travelling and what-not, maybe nie should address this to her readers and supporters who gave when it may have hurt their own family. I know I would to avoid an uncomfortable and highly offensive situation.

These people are not saints as most of you think. They don't claim to be, but for some reason have been put upon pedestals no human person can live up to.

I'd like to hear the answer to this issue in a post. I didn't donate, but I'd like to hear it.

I'm confused:

1. I never thought people who check the TODAYMoms blog would be so vicious! I'm part tickled and part revolted.

2. Why should someone feel ashamed for being honest about their feelings?

3. Although I'm sure there's a fully rational explanation for what NieNie buys and where her funds for those purchases come from, I would wonder the same thing. I don't think it's a matter of judgment, it's an observation of the massive dissonance between the expectation donaters were given (that is, that the Nielsons were going to be ruined financially without help) and what we've seen (that the very recognition meant to help this state actually made them appear otherwise).

4. As I said before, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for her spending (like the idea of separate accounts...although that one still doesn't seem completely solid), but I'm baffled by these responders who're saying that her purchases are "pick me ups"? Um, really? She's never said that. And that would be a completely shallow means of happiness. I assume that most of these expensive items were donated to her by retailers so that she'd post about them. However, if those of you with these "pick me up" ideas would be okay with your donations being used for fluff home decor...wow. You're better people than I am.

What a sad, sad reply you have written to this story. Apparently you're not a regular reader of NieNie Dialogues otherwise there would never have been a question about the gratitude of this family. How did you ever decipher a blog entry with a picture of packages and her words of thanks as being something that Stephanie has come to expect? Their medical expenses are in the millions, I'm sure, but their lives have to go on. Don't assume that donations are being used to purchase new furniture, etc. They must have other means of income. You even pointed some of them out. You are absolutely entitled to your opinion as is everyone who responded so passionately to you. In the future, though, when the money you have donated is released from your hands, just let it go. It's all in the intention, my friend.

A massive medical bill has a minimal payment amount. It becomes one of your many bills- you don't have to pay the $1 million all at once. I'm sure donations went to medical bills (you know from reading they have that kind of integrity- of course!) and now they are probably back into their regular life- paying off the med bill on minimal payment at a time, and living regularly again. But remember that Stephanie never asked for donations- she was in a coma when all that started. I think when something like this happens to your family, you think this will mean million dollar bills and financial ruin for your sister, and you ask for donations (who wouldn't?).

WE HAVE NO CLUE what money they are spending on what!!!!!! it's just so sad to me that all of the craziness about how they spent the money donated for medical stuff is ALL SPECULATION!!! so sad.

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/stephanie-nielson-donate-120609.html

if you require information... seek it.

And, there it is:

"Stephanie's story inspired others to give, and she and her husband, Christian, have been living off money raised for them by strangers and friends, about $290,000."

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/stephanie-nielson-donate-120609.html

So, the people questioning DID have reason to question. The Nielsons have less than $3000 in medical bills right now, and are living off the donations that were solicited for medical bills.

When we give, we give from our hearts, no other reason. Christ gave to us sacrificially what we cannot ever deserve. We are all unworthy of everything we have. I can understand some of these emotions but, remember, we will never face condemnation to be sentenced to everlasting punishment but...we will all stand before the judgement seat of Christ to receive for the deeds done in the body. That includes, to me, how I spend my time, my money, and how and why I give to others. Let's save the harsh remarks and criticisms from both sides and let God sort it out. He will in the end anyway.

I totally agree Cenia!

The more i read, the more I hope, hope, hope Stephanie and Christian don't EVER have to read all of the foolish things written here.

To think they might shed additional tears because of self centered givers that only give for worldly recognition breaks my heart!!!. I hope the Nielsens are shielded from all of the evil mudslinging. They are too good of people to have to deal with the ridicule at this time of rebuilding their lives.

A good goal: To find JOY IN THE HAPPINESS OF OTHERS!

I'm just grateful they are so willing to share their struggles and triumphs.

I've been inspired OVER and OVER again!!!!!

I must say something here.

Your self-righteousness is glaring. I'm pretty sure Jesus never verbally attacked anyone for not agreeing with him.

i click on them too. any help i can give is worth it. ;)

well said Kate,

I think that is the sentiment we have. I felt bad everyday right after the accident that I didn't have more to give. I wondered what I could cut from our budget to help. And our budget is tight to start with! Then to see fifty dollar head bands, hundred dollars in accessories - made me go hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I only commented about Cjane's shoes, because I think if I tried to shave our grocery budget to help - you'd think immediate family would be doing the same.

I know this all seems petty. I am only supporting the commenters who are so easily harrassed on here - to let them know they are not the only ones who feel that way. And from now on I will keep my donations to my church only to prevent my resent in the future.

Who really gives a crap if her necklace is over $200. If you're talking about the one I think you are, it was given to her by a friend. Stephanie never asked for these things. Her kids never asked for them. If people want to send them, that's their thing! If you had thousands of random people sending you gifts, would you really turn them down??

Right, Jenn,

"...it was given to her by a friend" That's what I meant by "donated". As far as who "gives a crap", she advertised it on her blog, with a link, to "regular" moms who could never afford to spend that much money on a "couture" item. I find that questionable.

Also Anon -

You have no idea what you are talking about ... I can not EVEN believe the statements you just made that couldn't be further from the truth. Why don't you come out to Provo and see where this sweet little humble family lives and then see where her parents live - in the little house down the street where they raised a large close knit, loving, supportive family.

Wow ... I have been shocked by the comments I have read. I wouldn't trade all of Oprah's money to be in the Nielson's situation. It is not our place to judge someone - ever!

I am a single mother of 5 who has also donated what I could to Nie Nie's fund - I wish I could do more ... and I'd make her stuff too, if I did that kind of thing, because it might make her happy. Even if it's just for a few minutes.

dito!!!! well put. we REALLY have NO CLUE!!!!!!

Wow- so true!!

Very nicely put :)

Well said. Ecspecailly the part about being who you are and believeing in your own power.

Thank you! Who knows but God the road He has for us to walk. I just thank Him each day that mine thus far has not included recovering from burns over 80% of my body, no matter how much money or fame might come from it. I will stick with my own bed of thorns and just be grateful that Stephanie is willing to get out of bed and add a little to her blog so that I can find the sun shining through my own clouds!

Thank you Marion! Well said.

I was thinking the same thing. One of the things that makes Nie so charming is the fact that she has created such a lovely, whimsical life for herself on a shoestring budget! (Those anthopologie bowls are $5 a piece, FYI not exactly the lavish splurge that some people would like to make it out to be). She was GIVEN the headband, and GIVEN the necklace in question, and GIVEN pretty much everything she has talked (and thanked) about!

It's clear evidence of a sad world when people find a way to envy, and then villify an angelic-burn victim-mother-of-four for buying a new sofa and craft supplies to enjoy with her kids. Some people, wow.

http://thelolaletters.blogspot.com

As I was reading these posts, I decided I would comment. I think Christian and Stephenie and their family will be fine financially. What with their health insurance and the plane's insurance liability, add to it the donations of giving people, they should be fine. What does put ideas into peoples minds, are the scams that dishonest people create for the bleeding hearts. Yes, and with that, I can see where people would second guess from time to time.