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I wouldn't say I'm any happier, but stronger and more resilient. Sometimes life is about choices and sacrifice. Do I have bad mom days? Sure, but instead of being sitting in a "would've, should've, could've--pity party", I remind myself that life could be worse. I have been blessed to be a mother and I am very happy about that!
#1 - Mon Oct 19, 2009 1:22 PM EDTI agree with poster 1Kimmy. Motherhood definitely makes you stronger and resilient. I think Motherhood also makes you look at life thru different lenses. What may have made you happy in the past doesn't bring the same happiness anymore and things that I thought I'd dread like taking the kids to an amusement park - make giddy with delight. Ultimately, happiness is a choice whether you have kids or not.
#2 - Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:53 PM EDTEvery decision we make is our own. Even if someone holds a gun to your head and tells you they'll kill you if you scream, you still have a choice whether to scream or not. There will always be a benefit or a consequence for our choices. What if you followed what he said and didn't scream. Do you think that somene holding a gun to your head cares whether or not you listened to what they told you to do?
The blame game is a convenient little way to keep yourself out of the spotlight, and let someone else feel the heat. It's a "get out of jail free" card. We all know someone who always has to let you know how much they've done for others, only to be screwed over in the end. Not once, or twice, but over and over. Pity? Party of one, you're table's ready!
Some people die before figuring out they're choices belong to them. All the good ones, and all the bad ones. Once you tap into who you are, and let your inner voice guide you, you begin the process of understanding.
I have 4 children. I was living the "happily ever after" until my husband was tragically killed on the job. I could have blamed his death on the majority of my unhappiness. The stress of raising 4 children who were under the age of 6 at that time, would've been a perfect crutch for the other part of my unhappiness. Im sure if I dig, I could come up with a list of people, and circumstances that caused my unhappiness. Luckily, my inner voice has a big mouth and refuse to let me go in that direction.
My life path is always under construction. There's road work ahead. Detours and dead ends as well. As I look in the rear view mirror, I can see how far Ive come.
Imagine each of us taking our problems to the street and dumping them into the middle. After seeing what others are dealing with, and the hardships some are facing, most of us would take our problems and run.
#3 - Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:06 AM EDTDon't get me wrong, I love my kids, but given the chance to do it over again, I never would have had them.
#4 - Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:48 PM EDTLove my son, but if I could do it all over....
#5 - Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:15 PM EDTWould have my son all over again. What a blessing he is. Screw these selfish people. Don't have anymore okay.
#6 - Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:19 PM EDTI love children...as long as they're someone else's.
My dad was a visionary. When we were born, he had our voice boxes removed. When we moved out at eighteen, we got them reinstalled and haven't shut-up since.
His philosophy on children was "...children should be seen and not heard...children should only speak when spoken to..." and, my personal favorite "...I brought you into this world and I can sure as hell take you out...".
I have eleven brothers and sisters and they all have children. Some of them actually made it into adulthood. When girlfriends get that "domestic" urge, I always visit the closest relative with young-uns and, when they start misbehaving, we always leave. That usually cures any talk of marriage and/or children.
My happiest moments are fishing and misbehaving children are a great source of fish-bait.
#7 - Wed Oct 21, 2009 5:01 PM EDTNo. He married, moved 30 mins away; doesn't call. When I call, it's always the wrong time, even when I call when he had said it's the right time to call. He's patronizing and rude. So now I don't call.
#8 - Fri Oct 23, 2009 8:57 AM EDTYou're in Easy Mode. If you prefer, you can use XHTML Mode instead. |
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It took some time to accept but it changed my life for the better. Less about "me" and more about someone else, my community, the world.