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Is it disrespectful to harbor a secret crush when you're in a relationship?

Plenty of married and committed women have a silly crush (on their delivery man, favorite celebrity, etc), but at what point does it start being inappropriate? Or does fantasizing about someone else actually help your relationship? Weigh in.

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Results with 5 short comments
Total of 1,232 votes - click on the "Display Comments" bar below to sort comments

20.3%
Yes. It’s inappropriate, immature and could possibly undermine your relationship.
250 votes
40.7%
No. It’s just a harmless fantasy!
501 votes
39%
It depends. Fictional characters and unattainable celebrities are fair game!
481 votes
Display Comments:
No. It’s just a harmless fantasy!

We're only human! Better to feel the excitement of a harmless crush than to live in an emotional cocoon.

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    #1
     - katrin schumann
     - 5:03 pm EST on Wed Nov 18, 2009
    No. It’s just a harmless fantasy!

    Honostly we are human and it's apart of our nature. I believe it adds a fire to all relationships and is harmless unless acted upon.

    {"commentId":10771528,"threadId":"727615","contentId":"3516539","authorDomain":"trish-yarbrough"}
      #2
       - trish yarbrough
       - 9:30 am EST on Thu Nov 19, 2009
      It depends. Fictional characters and unattainable celebrities are fair game!

      A crush is fine until and unless it negatively impacts the "real" relationship.

      {"commentId":10799863,"threadId":"727615","contentId":"3516539","authorDomain":"tcoady"}
        #3
         - tac210
         - 12:32 pm EST on Fri Nov 20, 2009
        No. It’s just a harmless fantasy!

        keep it as a fantasy..it's cool..if it leaves the "impossible fantasy world" it is way not cool.

        {"commentId":10854092,"threadId":"727615","contentId":"3516539","authorDomain":"toby-leonard"}
          #4
           - Toby-1137095
           - 5:04 pm EST on Mon Nov 23, 2009
          Yes. It’s inappropriate, immature and could possibly undermine your relationship.

          Well it seems harmless but when you harbor a secret crush you are being unfaithful.. what happens when u get married huh ??? it's a no..no.

          {"commentId":11572853,"threadId":"727615","contentId":"3516539","authorDomain":"moralcompass"}
            #5
             - whatwudGodwantudo
             - 2:47 pm EST on Wed Jan 6, 2010

            Newsvine Discussion with 3 comments - Click here to jump to the comment form.

            {"commentId":10804464,"authorDomain":"ChristopherL"}
            Chris L.-339676

            having encountered the devastation of discovering an online affair going on in my house, I can say that my general rule for marriage is still key: if you have to keep it secret, you shouldn't do it. That's not to say that you should disclose like a faucet, but, at a high level...there is a point where respecting privacy and keeping secrets change hands and can cause terrible pain and shame.

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              Reply#1 - Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:43 PM EST
              {"commentId":10919469,"authorDomain":"RhonndaR"}
              Rhonnda R

              How stupid and dull we would be if we only lived on one level,...fantasy is NOT real and should NOT pose any threat to anyone, unless THEY are insecure,...which, therefore, means that someone should 'grow up' and stop playing the 'jealousy' card for attention. Having experienced the destruction of a 28 year friendship over someone's harmless fantasy, I know how childish and demanding the 'other' person can be. I've lost my best friend because his friend was unrealistic about long term friendships versus 'affairs',...she would have had a 'breakdown' if he was working with any women, I'm sure,...so sad,...too bad!!!!!!

              {"commentId":10919469,"threadId":"729464","contentId":"3516539","authorDomain":"RhonndaR"}
                Reply#2 - Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:32 PM EST
                {"commentId":11573099,"authorDomain":"moralcompass"}
                whatwudGodwantudo

                When you are in a relationship or marriage there should be no secret crush period..... a secret crush is a lustful act which is a sin... so if u wanna sin and go to hell that's fine and carry on giving excuses like Rhonnda blaming the victim and idolizing the perpetrator.. that's what the world is come to .... so sad... when will we own up to our responsibilities...

                {"commentId":11573099,"threadId":"729464","contentId":"3516539","authorDomain":"moralcompass"}
                  Reply#3 - Wed Jan 6, 2010 2:57 PM EST
                  {"canLink":false,"threadId":"729464","isPrivate":false}
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