Did you have cold feet before your wedding?

You need to listen to your gut instinct that something is not right as it probably ins't. After kids and years of marriage turns out my husband was gay with a secret life. Not so uncommon either.

I am so happy that the Today showed aired this segment. I have been asked 9 x's now. For those of who have bailed, "BECAUSE" we listened to that inner voice that said, "something is not right" have become ridiculed often and accused of having commentment issues and this is NOT the case at all. I am 41 now and I would love to married, but I am not willing to settle and ignore obvious issues that I see being the start of divorce. Renny

I had very bad cold feet, but it ended up being more. I called my wedding off 1 1/2 weeks before it was supposed to happen. EVERYTHING was done!!!! My cold feet started about two months before. I was embarrassed about calling off the wedding, but soon realized I had to make myself happy and the ones who loved me would understand. We then broke up and a year later found the true man of my dreams. We now have been happily married for two years.

I had cold feet & I should have listen to my instinct. I wanted to turn & run, but did not want to embarrass my parents. I divorce 13 years later.

I had "cold feet" before my first wedding. I KNEW in my head and my heart I was not supposed to marry that man. I actually brought it up to several of my friends and bridesmaids on the DAY of the wedding, and everyone chalked it up to jitters and kept feeding me champagne and wine. At the end of the day, I was drunk, married and still feeling like it was a big mistake. I tried to make it work, but decided it wasn't worth it in the end. Gladly now, I am happily married to a man that I knew I was meant to marry the day I met him!

Should have listened to that inner voice. If I could do it over again I would never have married the man. The only good thing out of the 10 years we were together...the children. They are my joy. As for him...don't know, don't care.

I walked down the aisle with my dad, crying the whole way. I knew it wasn't right, the guy I was marrying drank too much from the day we met in college. I thought marrying him would change him, but a leopard never changes his spots. We had 2 beautiful children, for which I am grateful, but we divorced 13 years later. I am remarried to a wonderful man and I knew it was right after 2 months. He picked me up from work one day and said, "let's go get married." No pomp and circumstance, just us and the justice of the peace. 3 years and counting!!!

My fiance was the one who got cold feet. He split on a whim (got mad at me, freaked out, called off the wedding, and moved out of our apartment). He then realized that it was simply a case of cold feet and tried to get back together with me several times.

My problem is that I loved him with all of my heart and KNEW that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Every time he tries to come back I remember the pain I felt from the blow of the broken engagement, so I'm unable to open my heart back up to him. This is resulting in heartache and heartbreak over and over and over. I am in the process of letting him go, but it hurts.

I think the issue should be that couples work out the issues BEFORE they get engaged. The engagement should be the part of the relationship that's a time of joy and great expectation. The longer the engagement, the more freaked out people become.

There are SO MANY sources saying things like, if you feel ANY sense that things aren't right, you should just leave. Simple as that. Why don't people TRY anymore? It would save a whole lot of heartache AND divorce.

I still love my ex-fiance and can't seem to move past it very far.

My husband to be was diagnosed with end stage kidney failure. He had been on dialysis a year. We were both 23! I was very scared of how much time we had left together. Fifteen years later, and two transplants (the second being mine), we are happy and appreciate every moment together.

i tried to call off the wedding but i found out i was pregnant. i was raised without a dad and i did not want my new baby to be without one. i woke up the day of the wedding dreading it. my bridesmaids practically had to bribe me to get out of the limo once we got to the chapel. everything just felt so wrong. my mom was waiting inside and she could see something was wrong. she told me her self that i did not need to go through with it but i felt bad for his family. they had flown in from the other side of the country to be there. i didn't want it to be a waste of a flight. i also felt bad for him, i couldn't bear to hurt his feelings, he said he really loved me. so i went through with it. i started thinking about divorce less than a month later. consulted my first divorce attorney a little over a year after that but stuck it out, i didn't want to be a statistic. finally, after 4 long horrible years we were divorced and i've never been happier. i did get 2 kids out of it so for that i am thankful. funny that at the beginning, i married him because i wanted my children to have a dad. he only sees them maybe twice a year and only calls them half a dozen times a year. guess that nagging feeling and cold feet were right.

I just wanted to say that having cold feet before your wedding is not always something alarming... people are trained in today's society to question everything instead of being comfortable with the choices and decisions you make - and sticking to them while making them work. Marriage used to be something sacred, something beautiful, and a deep friendship and understanding of two people. But, in today's society, it is more viewed as an unescapable commitment with no freedom and no individuality. With feelings and thoughts created (from society) like that, it's no wonder you'd get cold feet and fear the future! It's not all about sharing everything you have, it's not about losing your freedom and being an idividual. I found my marriage simply to be a small step in a relationship that made things easier... to me, it was much harder when we were only engaged. You have to treat marriage as a convenience rather than an inconvenience in every thing you do. If you want a great marriage, well, you don't just get married and think it all will run itself - it takes a lot of work to keep things exciting, to keep learning about your spouse, to have good communication as well as a good sex life. Marriage is just the 2nd or 3rd step on a flight of stairs in a building with several floors! If you think you will be tied down by marriage, it's best to hold off until you are ready - if you ever get there. If you think that ring and piece of paper is going to change you or lose you in the process, it's best to hold of. I know it's exciting to even think of your wedding day and how wonderful it would be to try to create a family and "play house," but when reality sets in, and things aren't the fantasy you pictured, a lot of people tend to give up, change their attitude, feel trapped, lose them self, and think that they cannot do anything alone or without the other person's input. People can actually create the exact opposite of what they imagined by the way they mold their thoughts, needs, wants, and expecations. Marriage and life is what YOU make of it. If you have wants, needs and desires, then DO SOMETHING to make them come into fruition! If you want love, caring, kindness, consideration, understanding, trust, and alone time among other things, then you have to give it or offer it to your significant other as well. Always remember, YOU are in charge of creating what you want your life to be; you cannot just wait for what you want to happen, you cannot hope and wait for people to guess what you want or need - you have to try to give it to yourself and give it to others and that's how you can create what you want out of marriage and out of life!!

The entire week before my wedding, I had stress colitis. It was so bad that I appear pregnant in my wedding photos. It didn't take me any time at all to know I had made a mistake, but life has a way of happening and we just percolate along. My husband was an insulin-dependent diabetic who never took care of himself and always seemed to self-sabotage whenever things were going well - a perpetual victim. I had three children who are now grown and the lights of my life. After twenty-eight and a half years, we recently separated. My advice to anyone in this situation is to listen to your gut - nerves are one thing - but cold feet and other physical symptoms are another.

I knew I was making a mistake. I was crying that morning and was sobbing to my brother, "I don't want to do this, I don't want to get married!" I think I was actually still in love with my high school sweetheart at the time. I just couldn't stop it, but I wished I did. Even at the wedding we couldn't get the unity candle to light- a sign from God! My advice, listen to that inner voice as Oprah says! If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Luckily I never had kids and we were divorced about 5 years later after I found out he was having an affair. I have been happily married to another man now for 10 years and have 2 boys! Yeah!

I knew I was making a horrible mistake that day! I was crying to my brother and saying, "I don't want to do this! I don't want to get married!" I think I was actually still in love at the time with my old high school sweetheart. I wished I would have backed out but I just couldn't do that. 5 years later we were divorced after I found out he was having an affair, at least I never had kids with him. But now I have been happily married for 10 years and have 2 wonderful boys! Yeah! My advice-, listen to that inner voice, as Oprah would say. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't!!

You never know what is going to happen in the future. I was scared to death, in my teens, dropped out of high school and eloped to Vegas. That was in 1964, in 1981 my husband was hit by a drunk driver and suffered severe brain damage. I went back to school, got an AA, BA, MA and finally a Ph.D. because of him, I wanted to understand his injuries and take care of him. Now I work with other people who have brain damage, to help them have a fuller life. Was it meant to be??? Who knows, but I sure can't go back and change it now, and I wouldn't if I could.

Oops, I thought it didn't go through the first time, sorry for double posting! (I'm new to this.)

We were about to mail out the wedding invitations. I bailed due to "cold feet"...inner voice. We married one year later. 3 kids and 18 years of marraige. Have been divorced now for 9 years. Should have listened to my inner voice. Since he had all the qualities on my list I married him. My family was happy with my choice. I was NOT in love with him the day we married. Married because I thought I would fall in love with him and he would make a good husband. I was 23 years old. No one should feel they don't have a voice and can say," No I made a mistake. Can't marry you. You are a wonderful person just not for me". I have a voice at 50 and hope I fall in love for the right reasons.

Yes I did. I wish more than anything I would have listened to my heart and that little voice in my head. What appeared to be a wonderful, educated, strong family support man; turned out to be a horror story. I had lost my first husband to leukemia and thought my son and I had found someone that would be a good fit. I remember standing at the end of the isle looking down at him and thinking, "Something is just not right with him. Run, run away." I thought I was just a nervous bride and began the longest walk of my life.

After 11 years of marriage and the wonder of just adopting a 5 month old son. I walked into our bedroom unexpectedly home early from a friends to find my husband dressed in a garter belt, high heels, nylons and a corcet. With a large, umm unprintable member. My world caved in - things finally started to make sense. The magazines that arrived at our home of men in langerie that he said someone was playing a joke on us; the lack of intimacy in our marriage, and my son from my first marriage sudden refusal to do anything with him. I was not crazy! He was. What a sense of relief. I walked out, went to a major moving company, put down $1500.00 and asked how far it would take me. Within 3 weeks I had planned my escape, had movers come to my home and pack up while he was at work. When he returned home I was in my mini van with my boys driving out of the drive way. I stopped and told the boys, "say goodbye to Daddy, they waved and he said, "You will not get to the end of the street. I saved you from a life of being a poor widow and you can't make it without me." I put the car in reverse and sped away.

I moved to a city two days before the moving van was to meet me, found a house in one day, set up my home and found a job within a week. That was 19 years ago. My youngest is in college doing a wonderful job and speaks fluent Japanese, my oldest is a firefighter, married with a wonderful child. We all had therapy, my ex-husband had supervised visits for 7 years with our youngest.

And I learned to ask every man I met after that "Do you now or have you ever enjoyed wearing women's underwear?"

I am happy to report I married 3 years ago to a man who answered, "No, do you want me to??" he made me laugh and has continued to make me laugh and when I was standing at the alter I felt the presence of my first husband and I knew deep in my sole I finally found my love.

Anonymous-1495460 I realize he hurt you, but he admitted to you it was cold feet. He obviously still loves you if he keeps coming back begging you to take him back. Have you tried giving him another chance? I know you said your heart aches every time you think of how bad it hurt, but if you don't give YOURSELF the chance to make sure that you are doing the right thing by walking away, you will always wonder what if, and you may regret it someday. Think long and hard before turning your back on him ( he's turned his back and obviously has regret). Do you want that to be you? Just think before you jump.