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I had the talk to my daughter before she started middle school(6th gr.) . Now she is in 8th gr. and i still have to remind of the talk.
I think kids are ready to hear certain things at certain times. Parents can tell when there kids are ready to hear certain things.
My daughter ask me quesions regarding sex, then I give her an age approiate answer for a 10 year old girl. I make her fill comfortable
I don't think you "a" single talk. It should be ongoing and age appropriate. Little by little and you expand as they grow. We started at around 4 with the basic differences in gender, she is 6 now, and we talk about how bodies change when you become a teenager. We have opened the door to the topic, so we don't feel uncomfortable about something so personal.
#1 - Thu Dec 10, 2009 7:42 AM ESTI was going to say the same thing! We did the same with our kids. Good post!
Hear, hear. We've taught our son and daughter (5 and 8, respectively) a lot about anatomy, like where to knee a would-be abductor (and where not to knee Dad), the basics of reproduction, menstruation, and a few other details. We just explain things as they come up, as honestly and completely as they can handle. They're inquisitive, and accepting of information they may not fully understand. But yes - the main point is that "the talk" is dozens of little talks, starting WAY before the onset of sexual maturity. I want my kids to be safe, protected, to value sex as something special to be saved for special people, and I want them to be good at it. By the time they need the information, they'll have it. I'm delighted that I haven't yet seen the prudishness and body-shame I was sure I'd find on this board.
I agree with Mary-- you can not just have THE talk. It needs to be an ongoing open and honest relationship right form birth. a penis is a penis and a vagina is a vagina- it is not a pocket, a monkey, a picklle, or a turtle. Stop giving these pet names! You do not have to explain the full concept of reproduction at 5 years of age but stop making up cutsey the stork brought you here stories. Kids are curious not stupid. Answer their questions simplistically but honestly. If they are asking they are ready to hear an answer!
#2 - Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:00 AM ESTYES!!!!! I just re-watched the movie "Knocked Up," and noticed that a recurring theme is how effortlessly the adults lie to the kids. I was raised with some information and a lot of (non-cutesy) euphemisms. My kids are being raised with facts, real names, and a complete lack of shame. I can't imagine wanting to do it any other way.
The lack of discussion shows just how uncomfortable peope are with this subject. I also believe "THE TALK" should be ongoing & age appropriate. Peope need to realize that their children are going to hear it somewhere. It needs to be from loving parents that want their children to hear the truth. Please don't wait until Megan is pregnant or Jhn's girlfriend is pregnant before having this important discussion. Your kids can either learn from you or learn it from their friends & experiences. Kids should be taught about the changes their body is going through & how they should control their hormones & wait until they are in a permanent relationship before giving it up. The moral fabric of this country has stooped to levels that place sex on a level with paying a board game.
#3 - Sun Dec 13, 2009 5:33 AM ESTIf one doesn't have ongoing talks about sex and all it involves with one's children, one may end up raising one's grandchildren. Then, one may end up raising one's great-grandchildren.
My comment is no joke. It happened in my family. Makes it really easy to see that when grandparent's raise their grandchildren, they make the same mistakes. Luckily, I was old enough to step in with my second cousin and give her the talk.
I find it ironic when what comes around goes around with the 'religious' parents that don't bother to teach their children about sex and they end up with pregnant teenagers.
#4 - Tue Dec 15, 2009 4:16 PM ESTA lot of times the religious parents preach abstinence, and we know how well that works, don't we?
Abstinence is a fine concept, but you need to be realistic.
I agree. Abstinence is a part of sexuality, but to "teach" it and nothing else is foolhardy. I say "teach" in quotes, because - come on - it's not teaching anything just to say "don't do it." Teaching is imparting knowledge - facts - and our kids deserve as many facts as we can give them. They're going to do what they're going to do. Isn't it better that they're prepared for situations that may come up someday?
My folks never had 'the talk' with me. Or any of my siblings either. Later, in college, the conversation went that way, and I asked why 'the talk' never occured. She told me it was because she knew us well enough to know that we would never get at it as teenagers (mostly because of religious convictions)...furthermore she said, and I quote, "I figured it out, and you're no dummy, I knew you could figure it out too."
#5 - Sat Feb 13, 2010 7:07 PM ESTYou're in Easy Mode. If you prefer, you can use XHTML Mode instead. |
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I would be surprised if my children didn't ask a sex related question by the age of 5. Kids naturally want to know how they got here.